I was very guilty of the overconsumption of self-help content when I was healing and in therapy several years ago (and, admittedly, years before that). Then one day I had a shock to my system that showed me how very addicted I was to my victimhood. Reading all the self-help kept me trapped there as it was just a constant confirmation that I was sick (which I loved to be because it made me “special” and feeling “special” was a bypass to self worth). When I experienced that crystallization of discontent, it felt like being reborn. I was finally free to ACT rather than wallow. What’s extra hilarious is that, over holiday break, I had a coupon for a bookstore and I found myself pouring over the entire self help section... like an addict in their drugstore of choice! And yet I couldn’t find a single book. Finally I had to yell at my brain: KATIE. STOP. That afternoon, I went to my sister’s to take care of her cat and found that book, The Courage To Be Disliked. I grabbed it on instinct (my addiction still simmering under the surface), and what do you know? The message was the exact same as the lesson I had already learned. The Addiction. Inferiority Complex. I was reminded that Stalemate happens when I hungrily consume reasons why I’m not doing the thing. Growth happens when I get out and do the thing. Over the past few weeks, you’ve generated SOOO many cool ideas of what to do next. You could pick the path of least resistance and just go for it... show up every day to that SINGLE solid idea... and see where it takes you. I love that success/failure quote. Although, I’d adjust slightly for those addicted to failure (because “failure” is a dangerous self-fulfilling prophesy for those addicted to / in recovery from victimhood like I am) and say “Success is stumbling from one thing to the next with no loss of enthusiasm.” It’s totally ok if you stumble on this path, as long as you’re walking it!
What a thoughtful comment, Katie. Thank you. I read The Courage to Be Disliked last year and thought it was decent. I love what you said about being free to ACT rather than wallow. That's why I chose the word 'agency' as my theme for this year. I want to act instead of wallowing, to be growth-minded. Nobody's coming to save me. I have to do that. And with friends like you in my corner, I feel even more determined!
"Nobody's coming to save me" I love that! Part of me wishes I had that message in my head decades ago, but we're all on a specific path and these realizations happen when they need to right? And YES you definitely have my support every step of the way!
I was very guilty of the overconsumption of self-help content when I was healing and in therapy several years ago (and, admittedly, years before that). Then one day I had a shock to my system that showed me how very addicted I was to my victimhood. Reading all the self-help kept me trapped there as it was just a constant confirmation that I was sick (which I loved to be because it made me “special” and feeling “special” was a bypass to self worth). When I experienced that crystallization of discontent, it felt like being reborn. I was finally free to ACT rather than wallow. What’s extra hilarious is that, over holiday break, I had a coupon for a bookstore and I found myself pouring over the entire self help section... like an addict in their drugstore of choice! And yet I couldn’t find a single book. Finally I had to yell at my brain: KATIE. STOP. That afternoon, I went to my sister’s to take care of her cat and found that book, The Courage To Be Disliked. I grabbed it on instinct (my addiction still simmering under the surface), and what do you know? The message was the exact same as the lesson I had already learned. The Addiction. Inferiority Complex. I was reminded that Stalemate happens when I hungrily consume reasons why I’m not doing the thing. Growth happens when I get out and do the thing. Over the past few weeks, you’ve generated SOOO many cool ideas of what to do next. You could pick the path of least resistance and just go for it... show up every day to that SINGLE solid idea... and see where it takes you. I love that success/failure quote. Although, I’d adjust slightly for those addicted to failure (because “failure” is a dangerous self-fulfilling prophesy for those addicted to / in recovery from victimhood like I am) and say “Success is stumbling from one thing to the next with no loss of enthusiasm.” It’s totally ok if you stumble on this path, as long as you’re walking it!
What a thoughtful comment, Katie. Thank you. I read The Courage to Be Disliked last year and thought it was decent. I love what you said about being free to ACT rather than wallow. That's why I chose the word 'agency' as my theme for this year. I want to act instead of wallowing, to be growth-minded. Nobody's coming to save me. I have to do that. And with friends like you in my corner, I feel even more determined!
"Nobody's coming to save me" I love that! Part of me wishes I had that message in my head decades ago, but we're all on a specific path and these realizations happen when they need to right? And YES you definitely have my support every step of the way!